crazy how long it takes yo heart to heal from shit.
crazy how my heart has all this love to give even after all the beatings its endured.
I haven’t seen you in so long that I’ve forgotten what you look like.
Tell me why people keep searching for what is “better” when what’s the best was right in front of them the whole time.
Whoah?? People actually care??? About me??!!
I vaguely remember that time I saw Death Cab for Cutie and they played Transatlanticism. It was so beautiful and so heart breaking. I think a few weeks later, my boyfriend of a year and a half and I parted ways.
Now, the same song is breaking my heart but by a different person. Same thing with the former: I need you so much closer.
Heart break is such a horrible thing that I wish no one should ever have to go through. Why is it a thing? Why do we make so many plans with someone if this thing was only temporary? Why are things so temporary?
I just need you so much closer.
Please
Come
Back
To
Me.
My brother was diagnosed with depression years before I was, and because of that he started therapy years before I did.
I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”
He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral
And even though that was years and years ago, I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m reading discourse on the idea of getting so attached to mental illness as an identity that you don’t want to improve things because you feel safe in it and don’t know who you are without it
I always think of that line “I miss the comfort of being sad” and my brother’s warning